The catholic communities in the U.S. and Canada are well organized. The pastor leads a dynamic community, a parish council, many pious associations, Catechism classes, Vietnamese language courses... Many communities have bought or built their own churches, have parish halls and classrooms for their pastoral or social activities. Any visitor will be impressed by the assembly's participation in the Mass, the presence of young men and women in all the activities and the apparent dynamism of the community.

However, beneath this vitality and fervour there are deep problems and needs. Brought up in a communitarian faith, few of our catholics are aware of personal religious experiences. They memorize long prayers and a question‑answer catechism. Unfortunately they apply the same style of brief and categorical answers to the richest mysteries of the Incarnation, Redemption, Divine Providence or moral decisions. Few of them know how to read and pray with Holy Scripture or respond to the simplest objections from our Protestant brothers and sisters.

In many of our communities we see symptoms of "natural religiosity" not yet transformed by Christ‑life and preaching. Although they have grown up in a Christian environment they do not know that Christ is "Emmanuel","God‑on‑our‑side", the best friend of the human family, that He brings hope and life to the present, that He wants to transform us now, and share His glory with us in this life; that His plan for each one of us is so beautiful and great that we cannot even comprehend it; that God wants to give us His Spirit and transform us into the image of His Son, Jesus; that He invites us to follow Him and we are free to say yes or no to Him; that the deepest truth of our lives is how we answer to His invitation and our vocation to be transformed by God's Spirit. Many of our Catholics have not yet opened their hearts to the Spirit. They are blind to the beauty around, deaf to the music, lonely and starving for love in a world overflowing with the love of the Father. They do not know that the purpose of humanity is to love, please and praise God and that the heart of our lives is LOVE; that sin is freely refusing to love and obey Him and conversion is detachment from self and idols, offering Him our love and obedience; that heaven opens its doors now and hell is nothing but our final and lasting decision not to love and obey God. We do not need money or intercessors to be heard by God, because He loves each one of us, He hears the cry of the poor, and all places and all times are Holy and fitting for encountering Him.

According to many of our Catholics, God has created us and is respons­ib­le for who we are as well as for all the events of our lives. Thus the events and situations we go through are beyond our control and responsib­ility. Yet God demands from us faithful obedience to his commandments and those of the Church: attending Mass on Sundays, being pure, not using contraceptives, or reciting long vocal prayers... By all means we have to avoid sin, and if unfortunately we fail, we have to confess our sins to the priest and promise not to sin again in the future. Failure to do that will be punished here on earth, and eternally in hell. God appears as an absolute monarch, in full control of things and yet asking impossible tasks. There is, certainly, the eternal happiness of heaven. But this future promise seems to have little bearing in this present life and on our daily problems.

For all its fear of God and anxiety this "natural religion" is and remains "human‑centered". We are the purpose of our own lives. The intensity of our prayers depends on the urgency of our needs. Religious practices are the natural result of FEAR not of love ‑ fear of God, fear of others, fear of ourselves. These religious practices express a search for ways to reach God and attract His favour and protection, such as generous offerings, powerful intercessors, holy places and objects, the main purpose of these practices being to please God and avoid punishments, or obtain his favours.

Maybe we can find here some of the reasons why many of our young Catholics are drifting away from the sacraments and from the Catholic Church.

The qualities and shortcomings of leadership in our Vietnamese commun­ity: We have many outstanding leaders in our communities. From the smallest refugee camp to the large cities of California or New Orleans, everywhere we find dedicated leaders serving our communities. Most of them have great tal­ents, do not spare efforts or sacrifice in the service of the choir, catech­ism classes, Eucharistic Crusaders, ... they often succeed handsomely.

But if we look more closely, we will discover that most of these leaders do not wish to step down from their responsibilities, or if they have to, they do it without training those who will replace them. They only think and talk about their own work. They are very afraid of failure and will not start a project, even when it is needed for the good of many, unless they are quite sure of its success. They show an unlimited amount of energy in the implementation of their own projects but show little interest in the projects of others. They hardly cooperate at all with other leaders or organizations. If other groups can help them, they will welcome them, otherwise they might look at other leaders as possible competition. It is not rare to see our leaders denounce other leaders or organizations.

We can also see in many, when they are in authority, a need for personal power. Thus they deny any weakness or wrongdoing, any negative motivation or personal need such as the need to control, the need for recognition or acceptance, jealousy, selfishness or anger. Christ was tempted, but our leader refuses to accept in his motivations even the presence of self‑love or prejudice. By being denied and regarded as unacceptable, these needs become unconscious. The mechanisms of defense will prevent anybody from bringing them to the surface. Therefore these needs will not be the object of prayer and conversion by the Spirit of Christ and the leader will be more and more influenced by them.

Outwardly the leader is reasonable, protects the good of the community, and his/her criticisms of others are well grounded in facts. Leaders can rationalize their behaviour and believe that they talk, work, flatter some while putting down others for the greatest glory of God, while in fact they are unconsciously inspired by their own repressed needs and desires.

Perhaps it is here that we may find some of the motivations behind many conflicts and divisions among our communities and movements.

The formation of laypeople. From the possibilities and problems we discover in the Vietnamese community we see more clearly the need to train lay leaders. We need formation programs for our lay apostles. In this formation the skills and professional knowledge needed in apostolic projects are very important. But even more important is the formation in spirit­uality, experience and familiarity with God, and the desire to serve.

With its retreats, the movement of The Companions of Jesus wishes to offer help to the Vietnamese community. In the past years we have proven to have many shortcomings, but the desire to serve is real. In the following pages I wish to share some experiences and reflections on the work of the Companions of Jesus with the Spiritual Exercises amongst the Vietnamese Community in the U.S. and Canada.