Our young men and women enjoy today the most modern educational programmes which facilitate the development of their capabilities but at the same time threaten their deep attitudes and values. Educated in institutions that encourage creativity and self‑confidence, they can, however, become selfish and allergic to discipline and authority. Brought up in a spirit of open dialogue with their teachers our young men and women often expect to communicate with their parents in the same way. Many Vietnamese parents are not used to this dialogue and feel that their children do not respect them any more. Communication in the family becomes difficult, the relationships become strained, many young Vietnamese hold deep feelings of resentment and rebellion.

Very often teachers or classmates prejudiced against religion or the Catholic church have a deep influence on our students, who become critical towards the devotions, moral restrictions or the authority of the Church. This negative attitude is often reinforced when they come into contact with the traditional structures of the Vietnamese community.

Living in a culture of personal ambition and satisfaction many of our young men and women are attracted by this self‑centered life‑style, empty of spiritual values. When for whatever reason they are away from home and the community, not having a strong personal faith, many of our youth stumble in their religious practice and moral behaviour.

Adolescence is a beautiful but critical age. In the case of our young men and women, to the typical crises of this age we have to add the conflicts between two cultures and the on‑going problems of their parents or the Vietnamese community, about which, very often, our young friends feel guilty. When we see that these tensions are accompanied by remorse because of weaknesses or moral failures and a false image of God as an unforgiving judge, we will understand the hopeless predicament of many young Vietnamese.

Maybe we understand now why some of them run away, join gangs or try to commit suicide.

In many of our vietnamese families we have to admire the parents' commitment to improve their professional skills, to give the best possible education to their children, to secure financial stability and material comfort in the home. We have to admire their inexhaustible energy and countless sacrifices as well as the outstanding successes many of our families have achieved in these areas. However, beneath the surface of this prosperity we find a painful lack of communication, of joy and spiritual values in many Vietnamese families. This is due to many factors:

Authority and roles within the family are undergoing deep changes. Very often the wife achieves greater professional and financial success than the husband. Aware of her capabilities and rights the wife finds it impossible to make at all times the unconditional surrender to the husband which is expected of her. Very often there is no real communication or deep intimacy between husband and wife. Tensions develop. Each one blames the other for any family problem. Unable to communicate they resort to verbal or physical violence. The air at home grows cold, sometimes unbearable. Divorce may be out of the question because of economic reasons, fear of public opinion or love of the children but, in the process, harmony and happiness are often irreparably destroyed.

Maybe it is here that we find the explanation for verbal and physical violence as well as for the increasing number of divorces and separations among our families.