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Luke
8:26-39: Christ heals the sinful self of a demoniac
I
never liked this passage. I always thought it was pretty scary
because it had the word “possessed” and “demons”. When I
think of the word “possessed” I think of evil spirit taking
control of your mind, body, and soul and there’s nothing you can
do about it; it’s uncontrollable.
So, yeah, I never enjoyed it from the beginning. Or maybe I
just watch too many scary movies.
This time it was different. I forced myself to read it over
and over again until I was less afraid but while I was reading it I
was asking myself, “Why would Jesus tell us this story?” The
third time I read this passage in the middle somewhere it struck me
that in all of the passages that I’ve read so far, it always ends
with a grace. Whether it’d be the grace to see, the grace to
understand or even the grace to be humble. This time for me it was
the grace to heal.
Being
possessed is being subdued to some kind of force. This man was
subdued by the evil spirits that took over this soul. Though he’s
still God’s creation he has no clothes to wear, he has lost his
identity, and he has no soul to call his own. Like the possessed
man, for the past couple of years I’ve been torn between different
types of possessions in my life and I can’t figure out which one I
should hold president over the other. Or how should I prioritize my
life? This is such a weakness of mine. It’s like I have 5 forces
in my life.
At
times I think I need to put work force ahead of all. At other times
I think I need to put my family force first. But when I think of
prioritizing my life all I think of are the things that I have
control over. I think to myself if I can control those then
everything else will fall into place. How perfect is that! But never
in this thought process of mine did I put God as my captain who can
make everything fall into the right place in my life. Like the
possessed man, I am possessed by my weaknesses in these forces; my
fears hinder me from listening to my conscience, which is the very
heart of Christ; which is God speaking to me. Like the possessed
man, this makes me feel naked and I just want to hide and not deal
with my reality. It makes me feel overwhelmed and that’s when I
close up and have no sense of control. It’s like the weed eating
at the root of the wheat and feeding on its nutrients. I would end
up losing another battle. And every time I lose a battle I lose a
piece of my identity.
In
the past few weeks I’ve shared with you all that the hardest thing
for me to do is to let go of me; to empty myself and let God fill my
heart with his will. It’s been really tough. God has given me free
will to choose to continue the two paths that he has drawn for me.
Whether I continue or not it’s up to me. My conscience likes the
road that I am on because it feels right. It feels good. There are
times in which I go off in tangents, but somehow with the grace of
slowly learning to empty myself, and healing with God’s love and
putting God the center of my life I get back on my path and believe
that God will take care of me in this healing process. This is where
I’d like to be.
I
like where I am at. It’s heavy at times but it’s only right that
it comes with the territory. Jesus’ way is not so easy and fun.
When I find myself feeling God walking beside me like an old friend
I’m that much closer to finding my true identity myself; finding
my spirit. Like how Jesus over powered the evil spirit, I too want
to let go and ask Jesus too be all power in my life.
…When
they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone
out, sitting at Jesus’ feet. In the end, the man was free from the
demons and was clothed. By accepting my cross daily, by dying more
of me through daily reflections and contemplation I am slowly
realizing that the piece of clothing of Jesus Christ that I want to
wear is compassion.
Thanks
for reading.
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