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Toronto,
January 22, 2002
Unforgettable
Memorry...
I was
overwhelmed with joy, when I heard Chiên Con got invited to a
special weekend reflection with Hiệp Nhất and Tứ Phương Đồng Tâm,
which took place in Quebec City, hosted by Cha Long. In the
beginning, four Chiên Con members were supposed to come, but at last
minute, Yến Xuân clarified that I would be the only person going. I
remembered the absolute loneliness I felt. It was Friday morning and
the bus would be leaving at nine thirty. Oh! I was scared, and
nervous. Staring at the clock, I drifted off into my memories
hearing anh Huy’s voice: “Trang, this event will help you learn more
about yourself and a great opportunity for you to make new
friends!”. So, with little confidence I hopped into the Greyhound
Bus, ready for adventure.
The day passed
slowly and the time crept by, I find myself in Montreal. Seven hours
in the bus was not that long eh? Anh Long was the one to pick me
up. I was shocked to his gentleness. As I entered his apartment,
Thái Sơn turned and smiled at me. His sincere look made me feel
somewhat welcome and comfortable. Not long after, Viviane came. If
I’m not mistaken she played me the song “Romeo and Juliet”. Around
7pm we all went to Harvey’s. We walked toward a tall skinny guy. He
came up to me and shook my hand: “Hi I’m Tiếng, how’re you doing?”
Funny it seemed, Tiếng’s hands were warm and sticky. I glanced at
him with a smile, while Thư and chị cả (Cô Thương) chewed their
fries. Eventually the rest of the people came and we all headed to
Quebec City.
Two hours later
we arrived at Cha Long’s place. Hard to believe, Cha Long cooked
Canh Chua and Cá Kho Tộ hehehe... No Offend Cha Long, but in the
beginning, I hesitated to try his food. I’m not sure if it’s cooked
or poisoned?. Well, that time I was starving to death, and anything
would help. Interestingly it tasted better than I thought, very
delicious.
Our weekend
began with the passage Fishermen, with two simple questions: What
touches you from reading the passage? What does God want to tell you
through your daily lives? Most of us were definitely touched by
Jesus’ words: “Don’t be afraid”. There is no doubt that following
God is one great challenge, and we will never be at peace. And I
guess being peaceful is so important in my personal life that I’m
afraid God will call me. I could not imagine going with Him and not
knowing what will happen. Regardless, I will follow. I know He will
give me the strength and the courage.
In life, I
often challenge God, I don’t have much trust and confidence in Him.
Sometimes I questioned: Why did this happened to me? By following
God, my acts and effort ended in failure, like Peter said: “I have
done it all... Con đánh cả đêm rồi mà không bắt được ǵ cả.” Perhaps
I should listen to God, because nobody knows me better than Jesus.
Everything is in His hand. I must learn to listen and trust Him.
He will lead me to the place where I really belong.
“Speech is
silver but silence is gold”. Jesus listens in silence. I was
touched by His passion; patience; indulgent; attractive; forgiving
and inquisitive look. To look into His eyes is like to see a part
of Him. Between Life and Death there is Hope. Hope is the motivation
that drives me to seek, to look for something in this retreat, and
Jesus had invited me to stay with him.
The presences
of everyone in this retreat gave me a sense of acceptance and
respect for what and how I am. They allowed me to open up my heart,
expressed my deepest thoughts. I not only learned how to walk
together but “walk in the love and peace of God”. They reached out
their hands, helped me to stand up.
During the
Walking Meditation, we were divided in groups of two, and I was
paired up with Tiếng. Through our little conversation, we were able
to share about our personal experiences. Tiếng had encouraged me to
take away the mask that I had put on. He helped me realized that
“all the things I want to be...I am already are.” He had brought me
back some of my hope. I appreciated the moment I was there. I
encounter God through my group Chiên Con and especially through my
new friends.
I am growing
stronger, with their support, and it had been the anchor that has
kept me from drifting away. Above all, I have learned the love of
friendship is the most precious gift. Tomorrow came and I have to
say good-bye to my new friends. My tears dropped indulgently. But
this friendship will be like a river, will go on forever and never
dry out, just as my love and memories of them will never dry up
either. They will last forever.
I drive a
thousand miles
In hope I’ll find my soul
And seek what life will show
To ease this heart of desire
I stumble, I
grumble I hop
A place I’ve never been
The faces I’ve never seen
My eyes about to pop
Surprises, I
wonder why
Your smiles are so sincere
Your hugs are so secure
Like angel lullaby
Indeed, I feel
the love
Like fire that feeds my life
Don’t ask why I’d cry
Grateful for being loved
In time I learn
to share
Enough to make me grow
Enough to make me glow
And crack up my despair
So hard for me
to say
Good-bye to my new friends
When there’s so much to gain
I wish I could’ve stay
Silence creeps
up on me
Watching the naive sun
crawl under the horizon
I guess it was meant to be
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